Fix moderncsqlite errors and rebase onto main (#2832)

This is #2819 but rebased on latest `main`. This PR is against main too
as opposed to the `moderncsqlite` branch.

The main change here is simply:

```go
// add query parameters to the dsn
if strings.Contains(dsn, "?") {
	dsn += "&"
} else {
	dsn += "?"
}

// wait some time before erroring if the db is locked
// https://gitlab.com/cznic/sqlite/-/issues/106#note_1058094993
dsn += "_pragma=busy_timeout%3d10000"
```

### Pull Request Checklist

<!-- Please read
https://matrix-org.github.io/dendrite/development/contributing before
submitting your pull request -->

* [x] I have added tests for PR _or_ I have justified why this PR
doesn't need tests.
* [x] Pull request includes a [sign off below using a legally
identifiable
name](https://matrix-org.github.io/dendrite/development/contributing#sign-off)
_or_ I have already signed off privately

Signed off privately.

Co-authored-by: Neil Alexander <neilalexander@users.noreply.github.com>

go.mod

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ require (
 	github.com/Masterminds/semver/v3 v3.1.1
 	github.com/blevesearch/bleve/v2 v2.3.4
 	github.com/codeclysm/extract v2.2.0+incompatible
-	github.com/dgraph-io/ristretto v0.1.1
+	github.com/dgraph-io/ristretto v0.1.1-0.20220403145359-8e850b710d6d
 	github.com/docker/docker v20.10.19+incompatible
 	github.com/docker/go-connections v0.4.0
 	github.com/getsentry/sentry-go v0.14.0
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@ require (
 	github.com/matrix-org/gomatrixserverlib v0.0.0-20221101165746-0e4a8bb6db7e
 	github.com/matrix-org/pinecone v0.0.0-20221026160848-639feeff74d6
 	github.com/matrix-org/util v0.0.0-20200807132607-55161520e1d4
-	github.com/mattn/go-sqlite3 v1.14.16
+	github.com/mattn/go-sqlite3 v1.14.15
 	github.com/nats-io/nats-server/v2 v2.9.4
 	github.com/nats-io/nats.go v1.19.0
 	github.com/neilalexander/utp v0.1.1-0.20210727203401-54ae7b1cd5f9
@@ -51,17 +51,18 @@ require (
 	gopkg.in/h2non/bimg.v1 v1.1.9
 	gopkg.in/yaml.v2 v2.4.0
 	gotest.tools/v3 v3.4.0
+	modernc.org/sqlite v1.19.3
 	nhooyr.io/websocket v1.8.7
 )
 
 require (
 	github.com/HdrHistogram/hdrhistogram-go v1.1.2 // indirect
-	github.com/Microsoft/go-winio v0.6.0 // indirect
+	github.com/Microsoft/go-winio v0.5.2 // indirect
 	github.com/RoaringBitmap/roaring v1.2.1 // indirect
 	github.com/beorn7/perks v1.0.1 // indirect
 	github.com/bits-and-blooms/bitset v1.3.3 // indirect
 	github.com/blevesearch/bleve_index_api v1.0.3 // indirect
-	github.com/blevesearch/geo v0.1.15 // indirect
+	github.com/blevesearch/geo v0.1.14 // indirect
 	github.com/blevesearch/go-porterstemmer v1.0.3 // indirect
 	github.com/blevesearch/gtreap v0.1.1 // indirect
 	github.com/blevesearch/mmap-go v1.0.4 // indirect
@@ -69,7 +70,7 @@ require (
 	github.com/blevesearch/segment v0.9.0 // indirect
 	github.com/blevesearch/snowballstem v0.9.0 // indirect
 	github.com/blevesearch/upsidedown_store_api v1.0.1 // indirect
-	github.com/blevesearch/vellum v1.0.9 // indirect
+	github.com/blevesearch/vellum v1.0.8 // indirect
 	github.com/blevesearch/zapx/v11 v11.3.5 // indirect
 	github.com/blevesearch/zapx/v12 v12.3.5 // indirect
 	github.com/blevesearch/zapx/v13 v13.3.5 // indirect
@@ -80,7 +81,7 @@ require (
 	github.com/docker/distribution v2.8.1+incompatible // indirect
 	github.com/docker/go-units v0.5.0 // indirect
 	github.com/dustin/go-humanize v1.0.0 // indirect
-	github.com/fsnotify/fsnotify v1.6.0 // indirect
+	github.com/fsnotify/fsnotify v1.5.4 // indirect
 	github.com/go-task/slim-sprig v0.0.0-20210107165309-348f09dbbbc0 // indirect
 	github.com/gogo/protobuf v1.3.2 // indirect
 	github.com/golang/geo v0.0.0-20210211234256-740aa86cb551 // indirect
@@ -91,12 +92,14 @@ require (
 	github.com/h2non/filetype v1.1.3 // indirect
 	github.com/json-iterator/go v1.1.12 // indirect
 	github.com/juju/errors v1.0.0 // indirect
+	github.com/kballard/go-shellquote v0.0.0-20180428030007-95032a82bc51 // indirect
 	github.com/klauspost/compress v1.15.11 // indirect
 	github.com/kr/pretty v0.3.1 // indirect
 	github.com/lucas-clemente/quic-go v0.29.2 // indirect
 	github.com/marten-seemann/qtls-go1-18 v0.1.3 // indirect
 	github.com/marten-seemann/qtls-go1-19 v0.1.1 // indirect
-	github.com/matttproud/golang_protobuf_extensions v1.0.2 // indirect
+	github.com/mattn/go-isatty v0.0.16 // indirect
+	github.com/matttproud/golang_protobuf_extensions v1.0.2-0.20181231171920-c182affec369 // indirect
 	github.com/minio/highwayhash v1.0.2 // indirect
 	github.com/moby/term v0.0.0-20220808134915-39b0c02b01ae // indirect
 	github.com/modern-go/concurrent v0.0.0-20180306012644-bacd9c7ef1dd // indirect
@@ -110,13 +113,14 @@ require (
 	github.com/onsi/ginkgo v1.16.5 // indirect
 	github.com/onsi/gomega v1.22.1 // indirect
 	github.com/opencontainers/go-digest v1.0.0 // indirect
-	github.com/opencontainers/image-spec v1.1.0-rc2 // indirect
+	github.com/opencontainers/image-spec v1.0.3-0.20211202183452-c5a74bcca799 // indirect
 	github.com/pmezard/go-difflib v1.0.0 // indirect
 	github.com/prometheus/client_model v0.2.0 // indirect
 	github.com/prometheus/common v0.37.0 // indirect
 	github.com/prometheus/procfs v0.8.0 // indirect
+	github.com/remyoudompheng/bigfft v0.0.0-20220927061507-ef77025ab5aa // indirect
 	github.com/tidwall/match v1.1.1 // indirect
-	github.com/tidwall/pretty v1.2.1 // indirect
+	github.com/tidwall/pretty v1.2.0 // indirect
 	go.etcd.io/bbolt v1.3.6 // indirect
 	golang.org/x/exp v0.0.0-20221031165847-c99f073a8326 // indirect
 	golang.org/x/mod v0.6.0 // indirect
@@ -128,6 +132,15 @@ require (
 	gopkg.in/macaroon.v2 v2.1.0 // indirect
 	gopkg.in/tomb.v1 v1.0.0-20141024135613-dd632973f1e7 // indirect
 	gopkg.in/yaml.v3 v3.0.1 // indirect
+	lukechampine.com/uint128 v1.2.0 // indirect
+	modernc.org/cc/v3 v3.40.0 // indirect
+	modernc.org/ccgo/v3 v3.16.13-0.20221017192402-261537637ce8 // indirect
+	modernc.org/libc v1.21.4 // indirect
+	modernc.org/mathutil v1.5.0 // indirect
+	modernc.org/memory v1.4.0 // indirect
+	modernc.org/opt v0.1.3 // indirect
+	modernc.org/strutil v1.1.3 // indirect
+	modernc.org/token v1.0.1 // indirect
 )
 
 go 1.18